There are so many ways to express your love today. The phrase ‘love language’ is often thrown around to refer to how people express and enjoy love—you might prefer words of affirmation, constant physical touch, thoughtful actions, or tangible, thoughtful gifts. Yet however you experience love, at the root of it all is the importance of self-love, of knowing yourself before you can make room for others in your heart. As we consider all the options, maybe it's time to ask a question we have been ignoring for far too long. How clingy are we allowed to be in love, now that we have discovered the beauty of self-love? And is self-love easier as we grow older and make peace with all our flaws and warts? Mumbai-based interior designer Mona Dejgani, who tied the knot three weeks ago with criminal lawyer Taraq Sayed, says love in your fifties can be more liberating than it can ever hope to be in your twenties. Dejgani is 50, and Sayed is 58. The pair were in a relationship for nearly nine years before they decided to put a ring on it—in a modest ceremony in Mumbai with just 50 guests.
For many, the decision to get married can mean giving up one’s hard-won independence. But today, Dejgani and her daughter continue to stay in their own home. Meanwhile, Sayed lives with his father. While such an arrangement would certainly prevent unhealthy co-dependency, it’s just as important for couples to be intentional about seeing each other to keep the connection alive. Rajashree Balaram chats with Sayed and Dejgani about their unique marriage arrangement, and why it works for them.
