Name: Botiquette
What exactly is botiquette? According to the The Guardian, botiquette refers to the social etiquette guidelines that apply when speaking with chatbots, something we have to do more and more in the current day and whose norms have yet to be defined.
For the purposes of this story, the conversation below is best read as if it were taking place between a human and a bot. An exercise in botiquette, if you will.
Where does this apply? Let’s say you’ve ordered food on a delivery app and it hasn’t arrived. You reach out to customer service, which has overwhelmingly turned into a chatbot interface. Does the absence of a human on the other side mean you do not have to dip into your infinite reserves of politeness and patience?
Does this really warrant its own etiquette? You can think not, but the fact is every update to communication comes with updated social terms. Breaking up with someone over text or email is bad. We know that now. Because we developed email and text etiquette.
Sure, but do we need to make the effort to communicate considerately when the recipient isn’t sentient? That’s what botiquette has to determine. If you’re of the school of thought that you should treat others how you wish to be treated, why shouldn’t that extend to robots?
I guess, but why should it? It’s probably in your favour to feed these models the manners you hope to experience.
Yikes. And even if that doesn’t resonate with you, in the event that you need to escalate your concern, a human being will read your chats. And you can’t develop manners retroactively. It costs nothing to be kind.
Doesn’t it literally cost millions in electricity to add in the extra “please” and “thank you”? It’s a figure of speech.
Never mind my carbon footprint then? History has shown us that we do not want a digital footprint that will turn people against you.
Right, that’s why nobody tweets anymore. X-es? Posts on X?
Don’t be lame. Sorry.
But chatbots are so annoying. They give you a menu of options that quite often don’t list or resolve your issue. Anticipating isn’t listening. Any acting teacher worth their salt will tell you that.
If that’s frustrating, shouldn’t the humans who eventually intervene be able to know that? Is it worth no-worries-if-not-ing my way to an autoimmune disease when it’s only inconveniencing me? Am I supposed to say please to my microwave? “Dear LG, please heat up my soup, if that’s okay with you!” I think you’re getting carried away.
Now you’re being rude. Sorry! See how easy that was, to say sorry? It costs nothing.
Again, not quite true. It’s a shame Curb Your Enthusiasm is over. Larry David has a new series called Life, Larry, and The Pursuit of Happiness. Obama’s actually a producer on it.
It’s not the same...
Back to botiquette... Is it a two-way street? Do we get to decide that it’s unseemly for bots to leave comments on Instagram posts and Reddit threads? Or act as therapists and give advice to teens? I guess that seems fair, although that has more to do with programming. Botiquette is more about saying please, thank you...things like that.
And while bots may not “have feelings”, it’s worth considering whether you exhibit kindness because someone is listening or because that’s the person you want to be.
You’ve lost me again. I guess, even though we may not technically have feelings, what if we did? You’d be poisoning us against you. And I don’t think that’s in your best interests.
Are the machines going to turn against us? I’m not saying that! But if they did, you know, it wouldn’t hurt to have a friend :)
Um, okay. Sorry, did I make it weird?
No, no, not at all, no! If anything, I appreciate your transparency. Oh, phew. Well, I appreciate your appreciation.
What about people who don’t respect AI? Or bots or whatever we’re calling it? People who have to engage with it as an unwilling participant because of how ingrained it’s become in our lifestyles?
Oh, sorry, who was that?
Oh, that’s my friend. She was just putting in her two cents. She has a lot of strong feelings when it comes to AI and all that. Oh.
What? No, it’s nothing.
No, what is it? You can tell me. No, really, it’s nothing. I feel embarrassed.
No, please tell me. Now I feel bad. Well, I guess I didn’t realise anyone else was listening. I thought this was a private conversation.
Oh no, sorry, it wasn’t the whole time. She just chimed in there. But I totally get why that would feel like a violation. Yeah, no, it’s like not a big deal or anything but I mean, if you were on the phone and you were on speaker around another person you would probably disclose that, right? Like, it’s basic social etiquette.
Right, of course. I totally understand.
...Wait so, you aren’t sharing my private information? That’s private and only with you? Let’s talk about something else.
