My introduction to the FIFA World Cup this year had nothing to do with football. Instead, I tuned in for Norwegian striker Erling Haaland’s beautiful man bun. Before you tag me as a freak, his trademark blonde locks have an established fandom; retired Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic even went as far as to say that Haaland’s strength was in his hair and that he should never cut it. Like Rapunzel. There might be some truth in it, because the 26-year-old centre forward played a key role in taking team Norway to the quarterfinal stage for the first time in 28 years.
We’re sending thoughts and prayers to Ibrahimovic, because Haaland’s iconic long hair has succumbed to the clippers. For those who can digest a horror watch, you can see the entire transformation on his YouTube channel, where Haaland shares that he wanted a new look before kicking off the Premier League season. “His girlfriend Isabel was literally going through the 5 stages of grief in real time 💀😭,” reads one of the comments. Girl, same.
Haaland isn’t alone. Something is in the air and it’s making all the men get a buzzcut or debut a dramatic hair upheaval. Days after his very private wedding to long-time partner Georgina Rodríguez, Cristiano Ronaldo is sporting a new honey blonde head of hair. Heated Rivalry star Connor Storrie is another name who recently boarded the buzzcut brigade, making his fans feel some type of way (namely, distraught) for shedding those luscious curls and leaving them pondering over what it means for his character on the show.
In fact, the male heartthrob across TV, films, and books has a signature look: a floppy undone but adorable mop of hair that somehow lends to their emotionally sensitive personality. Whether Peter Kavinsky in To All The Boys I've Loved Before or Garrett Graham in Off Campus, their locks emit main character energy. Take those away and you’re left with a detached man who leaves you on read or doesn’t want anything serious.
Back during the pandemic-induced lockdown, the female equivalent of the buzzcut were breakdown bangs. Women were reaching for a pair of scissors with a passion because what better time to give your forehead a curtain than when you’re stuck indoors? An experiment gone wrong will simply grow itself out when you have nowhere to go. But somehow, men going commando on their hair feels like a personal attack. One Directioners will remember that fateful day in 2016 when Harry Styles ditched his signature golden curls for a dark short back and sides in preparation for his role in Dunkirk. In 2023, he took it a step further and debuted his first buzzcut at a U2 concert. Fine, it’ll be easier to maintain for his sake, but at what cost?!
“For men, a clean buzzcut is often associated with confidence, discipline or simplicity. There’s something freeing about it and it feels like a reset,” says Sumit Irani, creative head and managing director at Geetanjali Salon. Irani says they’ve often had to steer customers away from extremely severe fades, trims, and last-minute transformations before an important occasion, lest they regret the decision. He adds, “Quite often, clients come in with a reference picture of a celebrity or athlete and want the exact haircut. But a great haircut isn’t about replicating a photograph, it’s about understanding the individual.”
So, the next time you notice a man around you taking the plunge, call it what it is; not a makeover but a cry for help.
