The new bougie holiday? A ₹90,000 mini-cruise

A cruise is not my typical holiday. My holidays in the last decade—Helsinki, Bali, Almaty—have involved walking over 15,000 steps a day, exploring new sights, visiting markets, eating local food, and breathing in fresh air. So, the thought of being captive on a boat for days on end, with little to do but eat and drink and party has never appealed to me.

But against all logic and my preferred style of travel, I was onboard with the promise of experiencing something new: a taste of the wine-swilling, lobster-eating, sauna-hopping, soft-luxury, no-backpack, swish life you see on The White Lotus-like dramas.

For the next three days, The Norwegian Cruise Line was my home for an inaugural cruise aboard their new recruit, the Norwegian Aqua; my journey was a round-trip from Miami to an island in the Bahamas.

The Norwegian Aqua is not your grandma’s cruise. It’s like living in a luxury resort, floating on water.

Infinity pools with ocean views? Check. Whiskey lounge? Check. Wine bar? Check. Slot machines Check. Art gallery. Mini golf. Saunas and plunge pools. Adults-only beach club with shaded cabanas. Check. Check. Check. Check. And, there are ocean views everywhere. 

Like a hotel with an all-you-can-eat buffet (and they have 17 dining areas and 18 bars), the Norwegian Aqua’s real flex is that many of these services are included in its booking price.

For those with more to spend, there’s  a section on the cruise appropriately called The Haven, that attracts the uber rich. Here, the suites look like actual apartments, and they come equipped with private dining, lounge, glass-walled sauna, and an infinity pool.

At peace in Mumbai apartments, I was okay with a bit of downgrading. My Balcony Stateroom was compact, but it came with a small balcony from which I watched the sunrise each morning before dipping into the day’s newsletter to pick my activities—one day at the Improv at Sea comedy club, where American comedians would joke about race and politics, another day at an origami and paper quilling workshop, where I struggled to make tulips look like flowers. On another night, I took my two left feet for a Latin dancing class in the Penrose Atrium, and later tested my wits at a Price is Right-style game.

Jesus did it first, but I would do a non-miraculous version of walking on water, courtesy a glass bridge on the ‘Ocean Boulevard’. The space opens to two bars, indoor and outdoor lounges, and an infinity ‘beach’—which basically means you can lounge in an infinity pool overlooking the actual ocean—just how the rich kids do it. Real beaches? So povvo.

Cruises, most often, bring alive images of retirees taking on long journeys in the sun to far-flung places. But this one? Far from it. In some ways, Norwegian Aqua is designed for millennials and Gen Z. Here, gran may fumble with how tech is integrated throughout the trip. Need to book dinner reservations? Check out cruise details? Plan your daily itinerary? There’s an app for all of it.  And there are Instagram-able corners everywhere: mirrored doors and galleries for that perfect selfie to an onboard photo team if taking photos feels like a chore to you.

Also enticing younger passengers is a pickleball court and some hard-served nostalgia: think Mario Brothers and Pacman, ping pong table and foosball, beer pong tournaments, and hours at the bowling alley. By the time I sign up for their VR rides, I can feel my stomach plummet. Adrenaline chasers won’t miss the Drop, a 10-storey free fall located by the side of the ship. But it’s the already-viral Aqua Slidecoaster—yes, a roller-coaster with an aqua slide—that appeals to the TikTok crowd, that I haven’t stopped talking about.

Though my bragging rights really began at the cruise’s only stop—a day-trip in the Caribbean on Great Stirrup Cay in the Bahamas, which is a beautiful island of soft white sand and the clearest aquamarine waters. Between feeding piglets and watching stingrays swim around your feet, here too is another taste of the rich life: a private sanctuary with villas, a spa, a pool, and for that touch of extra, a Moët & Chandon bar. 

You may have heard about the food on a cruise, and here it’s plenty, diverse, and plated for the camera. The Norwegian Aqua takes the cruise buffet and amps it up at the Hudson’s, with its floor-to-ceiling windows offering 270-degree views to your plate of seared scallops. Every diet plan is accommodated: Onda by Scarpetta is for wholesome seafood pasta, Surfside Café and Grill is for juicy burgers and fries, Indulge Food Hall, with its 10 dining stations (and the only space that uses tablets to order the food), is where you can try a Chettinad fish, crab meat on toast, and a vegetarian Moroccan bowl on the same table. And there is Planterie, a plant-only mini restaurant —a first for Norwegian Cruise Lines—where you get minestrone soup, lemon lentil soup with tempeh, and Thai bowl with sweet potato glass noodle zucchini.

At night, you may be tempted to relive your college years when most theatres on the ship transform into a nightclub. Elder millennials will be drawn to Revolution: A Celebration of Prince, a concert dedicated to Prince, with high-octane choreography, and powerful singing, while Elements: The World Expanded at the Aqua Theater & Club will make you forget Cirque du Soleil with its lineup of aerial acrobatics, magic, and dance.

Like the generation after me, I choose to spend a lot of time on self-care and mindfulness. My day pass at the Mandara Spa’s Thermal Suite gave me the chance to indulge in my newfound fascination for saunas. Here, the rooms don’t just offer Finnish or Russian saunas but also therapies with pink salt, clay, and charcoal. I hop between a menthol-infused steam room, an ice room, and taking a dip in the cold pool. Afterwards, wrapped in a white robe, I bask in the heated lounges in the thermal suite. Watching the placid sea and the clear blue skies, I cannot help but think: sometimes being adrift at sea is a good thing. Especially if it is in a 1,56,300-tonne luxury beast.

Details: A seven-day cruise starts at $725 per person (not inclusive of port taxes, which average another $300). There are six complimentary dining halls; the rest have a cover charge (approx. $50). The Aqua Slidecoaster is free. A day pass at Thermal Suite is $75. Details here.