When I moved to New York at 18, I did what every pop-culture-coded woman has done since the dawn of time: I cut my hair. Not drastically—but just enough to feel like a different person. A collarbone-length lob. Clean, sharp, and a little smug. I had no idea how to ride the subway, no furniture, and no real plan, but I had a new haircut, which gave the illusion that I knew what I was doing. Standing in the mirror of my sublet later that night, I felt a strange mix of calm and chaos, like I was about to become someone new.
We say it’s just hair. But it rarely feels that way. If you’ve ever sat in a salon chair with wet strands clinging to your face, heart pounding with post-breakup adrenaline or pre-birthday bravado, you know it’s never just hair. Whether it’s a full chop, a fringe, or a sudden switch to blonde, hair makeovers often arrive at emotional inflection points. They’re our way of shedding something or becoming someone. It’s impulsive, yes, but also incredibly precise: a gut-decision to rewrite the way the world sees us—and the way we see ourselves.
“Big hair changes usually follow big life changes,” says Florian Hurel, celebrity hairstylist and founder of Florian Hurel Hair Couture and Spa. “Breakups, new jobs, a move, a milestone birthday. It’s often about reclaiming a sense of control or marking a new chapter. People come in saying ‘I just need something different’.”
Sometimes, the haircut is the life change. “It’s always a good time for a hair change,” says colourist and hair artist Amanda Carvalho. “Before a holiday, a birthday, your own wedding or someone else’s, even during big life transitions, like moving from school to college, or college to work life. A haircut or colour almost always tops the makeover list.”
It’s the Pinterest board impulse. The late-night maybe I should get bangs spiral. The group chat poll. The secret thrill of booking the appointment without telling anyone. “When I change something about my hair, I feel like I’m hitting the reset button,” says Ria Biyani, a content creator. “Even if nothing else is changing—life’s boring or you’ve just gone through something shitty—a new haircut makes you feel bolder, more confident, like a new person.” And the kicker? “It might be a really subtle change, and 99 per cent of the time, nobody else notices,” Biyani says. “But that internal satisfaction? It’s real.”
Hair is aesthetic, yes, but it’s also emotional currency. It announces things about us before we’re ready to say them. “Hair holds power over how we feel because of its visibility, versatility, and emotional connection,” says Loic Chapoix, stylist and creative art director, Dessange Mumbai. “Hair is 80 per cent of your face—and it’s also your selfie these days,” Carvalho says. “Wear a basic tee and jeans with great hair and you’ll still feel like a million bucks.” In short: it’s how we main-character ourselves.
Haircut = therapy
“Haircuts can be emotional because they symbolise change,” says Chapoix. “People attach memories and identity to their hair.” Letting go of it—whether it’s an inch or ten—isn’t just physical. “We store memories, confidence, even trauma in our appearance,” adds Hurel. “A haircut can feel like a release or a loss. The tears aren’t always sadness—they’re relief, or joy, or simply the impact of seeing yourself differently.”
There’s a reason a salon chair can feel like a confessional. “We’re not just updated on every life event—breakups, job changes, weddings—we’re also seasoned at handling all kinds of emotions. We’re part mentalists too,” says Carvalho. She recalls one new mum who came in asking for “something different” after months of nappies and nap schedules. “She was exhausted and kept saying she didn’t know which way was up anymore. We gave her soft bangs. She ruffled them, laughing, and told me she felt like she’d got a little bit of her ‘me’ back.”
That sense of release isn’t just emotional—it’s also physiological. Mental health counsellor and founder of Unfix Your Feelings, Aanandita Vaghani Sehgal, points out that the bond between us and our hairstylists runs deeper than vanity. “We confide in them because the experience combines touch, ritual, and identity. Physical touch from our hairstylists deepens this bond. We know that washing or styling hair releases oxytocin—the bonding hormone—which lowers defenses and builds trust,” she explains.
That chemical shift, layered with the symbolism of changing our hair, is what makes the salon chair both “a mirror and a safe space where vulnerability feels natural”.
Letting go, literally
Unlike a dramatic career pivot or a permanent tattoo, hair offers something rare: the luxury of reversibility. “Hair is one of the easiest ways to reinvent yourself,” says Chapoix. “It’s not a big commitment. Hair grows.” Hurel agrees: “Unlike a tattoo or a career leap, you can grow it back or change the colour. But the feeling of stepping into a new version of yourself? That’s powerful.”
That’s not to say you have to go all in. A good stylist knows when to guide, not push. “I slow everything down,” Hurel says. “We talk. I ask why they want the change, what’s driving it emotionally. Sometimes I suggest a less extreme step first. My goal is always to help them leave feeling empowered—not with regret.”
Of course, we all worry we won’t “pull it off”. That the cut will be too much. The colour too bold. That we’ll no longer look like ourselves. But the truth, Hurel says, is this: “Pulling it off is more about confidence than face shape. If you wear it like it belongs to you, it will.”
“Go to someone you trust—someone who gets your vibe,” Lekha Shah, hairstylist and founder of The Cut Collective, says. “Ask questions. Be honest about your lifestyle. And if a big change feels too overwhelming, start small and build up. But do it—you’ll feel the shift.”
