Do you know what locked jaw arthritis is? Well, never say an HBO comedy can’t be educational, because that’s where I just learned what it was, watching Youth, a new show created by Sharon Horgan. The show stars Horgan as the protagonist Alex and follows a 50-something-year-old single woman and mum. As you can imagine, there are blind dates gone wrong, situationships that started as love and ended in lust, and enough humiliating parent moments to add her to the Guinness Records.
Cue the locked jaw: imagine you wake up one day and your mouth is so tense and tight you can’t draw it open. Instead of survival (food, water, banter!), Alex’s mind goes straight to...blow jobs. How will she land and lock in a new love life if she’s too worried about her jaw closing up every time she goes down on a man? Barely a season in, with its curious mix of dark humour and cutting observations about middle-aged precarity, Youth is already hilarious without hyperbole.
Let’s paint you another picture. You’re in the thick of menopause. The oestrogen patches are locked in, your shoulder is forever frozen, with no signs of your period for over a year. Then one day you’re in an intense, rip-off-the-clothes make-out session with a hot German colleague and suddenly the bloodgates open up on his sheets. Yep, just another day in Alex’s life.
For time immemorial, middle-aged women have been treated as the ugly, ignored stepsisters of 20-somethings, with coming-of-age and falling-in-love stories dominating prime time. Yet in recent years, we’re witnessing a steady rise of protagonists over 40 rediscovering sexual freedom and romance. There was And Just Like That (cringe and woke-obsessed), The Idea of You and Vladimir (sexy snooze fest), and Bridget Jones: Mad About a Boy (silly, yummy).
Even the Real Housewives, a franchise whose origin and etymology is rooted in the idea of marriage, now follows newly divorced women in their Bad Boy Phase. Following a BAFTA and Peabody for her show Bad Sisters, Horgan is now highlighting the indulgence and disposition of growing older.
Clearly, there is an audience that thrives on this sub-genre. We know too little about the inner workings of middle-aged women on the prowl, and they are thirsty.
Instead of banking on fiction, The Nod decided to speak to five single middle-aged women and mums and ask them what they would do if they were put in very Alex-esque scenarios. Turns out, truth is often stranger than fiction.
Alex’s best friend sets her up on a blind date with an incredible man, but his neck sags. The image doesn’t let her make out with him. What would you do?
Satarupa Paul, 40, Gurugram
“I’ve dated a couple of very ugly, very undeserving toads who, to their credit, had personalities far more interesting than their faces. So, if a man on a blind date was incredible but had a sagging neck, I’d probably give him another three or four dates. You never know.”
The protagonist has fun names for all her dates: Old Man Michael and Ex-Pat, for example. What have you saved your ex’s contact as? Give us a peek.
Sandhya, 41, Bengaluru
“There’s Captain Hook (there are exactly two friends who know why he’s called that), there’s God’s Balls, and there’s a special one: the STD. The reason is fairly self-explanatory.”
Pallavi Pasricha, 44, Delhi
“I have one name for all my exes: ex-hausted!”
At 50-something, Alex is obsessed with feeling young. A spin cycle, yoga, Pilates... she does it all. Did you have a phase of chasing youth?
Satarupa Paul, 40, Gurugram
“Yoga, gym, and dance are ways to keep my body supple so it doesn’t creak every time I get up from a chair. I’ve also been seriously invested in skincare since my twenties and clearly that’s paying off because 25- and 26-year-olds still chat me up assuming I’m their age. Allow me this one moment of shameless trumpet-blowing.”
Alex’s 17-year-old walked in on her and her partner. If this happens to you, what’s the plan of action? A pep talk, denial or feigned ignorance?
Srobona Das, 55, Bengaluru
“My 16-year-old actually did walk in on me and my ex-man-friend in a slightly compromised situation. Honestly, denial was the first response, then excuses. But thankfully, hopefully, she seems to have forgotten.”
Sandhya, 41, Bengaluru
“I don’t have kids, but if a nephew or niece walked in, I would probably make a joke and tell them to practise safe sex, perhaps not make the same mistakes their parents made. (Just kidding, or am I?)”
Ritu Goel, 52, Mumbai
“Maybe I would fake being normal and make it seem like, what’s the big deal? Initially I would be embarrassed to face my kid but then I would want to figure out what’s going on in her mind.”
You go on a holiday with friends that ends up feeling like a couple’s vacation, because the rooms, the activities, even the food portions, are for two. Alex instantly tries to take a flight back. What’s your game plan?
Satarupa Paul, 40, Gurugram
“I’ve been in this situation and feel for Alex. But rather than book a flight back, I did what any self-respecting solo traveller would do: I abandoned the couples’ itinerary and went off exploring on my own. The truly irritating bit, though, was having to field questions from my coupled-up friends about where I was going and who I was meeting.”
Ritu Goel, 52, Mumbai
“I was alone in London once and everywhere I looked my gaze rested on couples, I felt miserable. For the first time I gathered the courage to explore adult shops and felt highly embarrassed buying a dildo; it felt like everyone was looking at me. But once I walked out with my new possessions, I felt liberated. I also bought some expensive lingerie. Then at night, I sat in the bar at my hotel wondering if I should make a cold call to one of the handsome executives hanging around, but I couldn’t dare and just went back and watched a romcom.”
*Some full names are withheld upon request
