The season three finale of House of the Dragon aired on Monday, and let’s just say a lot went down.
For the first time, we start seeing Rhaenyra’s descent into madness, as our gal undergoes a full-on character transformation that feels very Daenerys Targaryen-coded. She finally steps into beast mode, ready to tear down everything (and everyone) in her path.
And then there’s the battle of Tumbleton, where literally no one is having a good time (except maybe Ulf). After the lull of the past few episodes, where nothing barring some dragon-made toast gets served, the finale doesn’t hold back on the bloodshed, although it’s nowhere near as unhinged as the first episode of the season.
We even lose a beloved character––though, anyone except Daemon and Caraxes could’ve died at this point and I’d be okay. Like most season finales, this episode brings more of a foreshadowing than any massive consequence or resolution. Below, every single thought I had while watching ‘The Treasons at Tumbleton’:
1. Why does Emma D’Arcy always look like she’s struggling to speak high Valyrian? Like, girl, you can’t take so long to finish one sentence. Meanwhile, Matt Smith spouts it like he learned it in the womb.
2. Wonders never cease! Rhaenyra has finally given Daemon permission to really fight after edging him for the past few episodes. “Kill [every Hightower] to the last man!” she bellows while he positively salivates. This is better than sex for him.
3. Baela finally musters the balls to stand up to Rhaenyra’s passive aggressive vibes! And then Rhaenyra choking her?! Rhaenyra, sweetie, you literally have three people supporting you right now. I wouldn’t do this.
4. Mysaria has been sacked (about time). Who’s Rhaenyra going to go to now to blow off some steam?
5. Okay, Alys Rivers is literally the star of this episode. The depressing back story, the tears, the quivering lip–someone give Gayle Rankin an Emmy now!
6. Umm, not Aemond figuring out that Alys is around 400 years old and getting turned on? He and Bella Swan would have a lot to chat about.
7. “All the things you care about are ugly...You, yourself, ugly.” Pop off, Helaena! We didn’t know you had it in you!
8. Call me crazy, but the scene where the guards force Helaena to eat is literally worse than every single thing that happens at the battle of Tumbleton. Get your hands off my angel, peasants!
9. Grrr! Rhaenyra’s in beast mode now, leaving for the Grand Sept in her coolest clothes. Full-body chills. Is the headgear low-key giving Evil Queen from Snow White, though?
10. Why couldn’t Rhaenyra take Syrax to the Grand Sept instead of going in that tiny, lame-ass palanquin? She’s going to kill them all anyway!
11. Ormund Hightower really went fuck ’em kids, commanding them to line up as human shields. Disgusting.
12. Where the hell is Ulf? Ser, you have a dragon! Get your shit together! Crap. Spoken too soon.
13. The communication in this episode is worse than in any corporate office. Ormund doesn’t know where Ulf is. Daemon has no idea that Ulf has turned. He’s also confused AF to see Hugh Hammer and Vermithor at Tumbleton when they’re supposed to be guarding King’s Landing. Guys! Communicate!
14. Love how Joffrey looks so freaking bored all the time. Someone get this kid Instagram so he can scroll!
15. I want whatever Ser Gwayne is smoking because what do you mean he’s brokering for peace with Daemon Targaryen of all people?
16. Was anyone prepared for Aegon’s high-pitched “I’m alive!”? I’m obsessed.
17. Aemond is fully giving Serena van der Woodsen in this episode. The flowing hair, the sultry voice. You can’t unsee it.
18. The common folk of King’s Landing need an award for listening to Rhaenyra’s boring-ass speech. If I have to hear about this freaking prophecy one more time, I swear to God...
19. Can Roddy the Ruin get a life? What did he have against that poor child!
20. Daemon in battle armour is so hot that at this point if he were to betray Rhaenyra and join Team Green I’d support him. (Forgive me, I’m a simple woman.)
21. Daemon calling for Caraxes and Caraxes whinnying and strutting towards him like a model, hips swaying, is the best thing this show has ever given us. We get it, Syrax. He’s super hot.
22. Daemon telling the kids to move before he fires at Tumbleton’s gate is so unlike him. Season one Daemon is truly gone and forgotten.
23. Dang! Daemon’s met his match in Ser Jon Roxton. Such an epic fight!
24. Lord Corlys’s face when Silverwing starts attacking the Targaryen army is priceless.
25. Sorry, but Ulf needs to be bumped off now. Bro, pick a side—everything’s not about you!
26. Could’ve lived my whole life without seeing Roddy the Ruin’s arm getting chopped off and Ormund getting his ass you know what-ed. Yuck!
27. If my cutie pie Daeron is dead I’m never speaking to anyone again.
28. Halaena sending butterflies to Alicent after she dies! You were too good for this world, queen.
29. Not Rhaenyra closing the window Helaena has just jumped from and carrying on with her day! She ain’t got time for this nonsense.
