It’s Shalini Passi’s world and we’re just here to see it

“They seem very, very curious. But curious only about one person—Passi,” says an exasperated Riddhima Kapoor Sahni in one of the many zinger-packed promos from the upcoming Fabulous Lives Vs Bollywood Wives. The third season of what started as The Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives now includes three of Delhi’s affluent microcelebrities along with the original Mumbai cast. The new edition follows these sometimes frenemies from two very different cities as they go about life, games, opinions, histrionics, and a solid dose of mudslinging. It’s the sort of reality TV binge that is likely to reach the top of Netflix’s charts within days of its release on October 18.

The standout of this season is Shalini Passi. The grande dame of the Delhi art scene, we’re used to seeing her swanning in and out of exhibits, galas, and parties in custom couture or the latest from the runways. Clashing Pucci prints, exaggerated McQueen shoulders, general Dolce extravagance, or monogrammed Dior—she’ll be the first to tell you that she styles and shops herself, and all her looks come from her personal collection. Over the years, Passi’s played the patron, the collector, the hostess, the fashionista, the philanthropist, the artist, the photographer, and now the social media star (1M and counting on Instagram).

Her museum-like Golf Links home in Delhi is as extra as her wardrobe—here, 17th- and 18th-century antiques from Italy and China go hand in hand with the welded nickel and steel Murmuration Bench by Johnny Swing, Puppy vases by Jeff Koons, and candelabras from Tom Dixon. There is art by every modern Indian master, from MF Husain to SH Raza, and leading contemporaries such as Subodh Gupta, Jitish Kallat, Bharti Kher, and Anish Kapoor. Passi’s connection with art is so deep that even her almost decade-old dog, Boston, cannot disassociate from this world. In 2019, the pug sported a gold and emerald necklace as the star of a performance piece by artist Mithu Sen.

Anyone living in the capital is not new to ostentatious displays of wealth, but Passi, despite every visible trapping of the Rich Delhi Girl, still manages a vague sense of mystique. She doesn’t quite fit into the usual clipped-accented, Chanel-clad Delhi housewife-collector mould, and she’s wildly unpredictable. In 2013, she shaved her head and insisted on only wearing black or white, right after her son Robin left for university (she now calls it her turning point into “becoming an aesthete”). These days, the colours, couture, and waist-length hair, are back. Tall and statuesque with deliberate movements, Passi is unmissable in a crowd. She might seem a Fitzgeraldian invention, but her surreal life is very real.

I meet her while she’s still in hair and make-up. She grabs a comb, sprays it with hairspray and shows her stylist how it’s done—without the blink of an eye. Moments later, she orders her house manager to update the checklist for a party that evening, all while directing her entourage of girls with iPads and iPhones following her around for BTS footage. Her son is throwing a party, she tells me, and “Aryan and Suhana will be coming over along with all his other friends...We’re old family friends,” she muses, almost unaware of the namedrop.

Talking to Passi is like being on a hydra-headed rollercoaster that jumps from one track to the next, depending on her will and mood. She digresses easily, this time about her choice of bag. “Things mean a lot to me, there’s always a personal story. Take this clutch...” she points to the crystal-studded Judith Leiber TV Test Screen clutch that’s an eye-grabbing throwback to vintage television sets, lying on her vanity. “I remember going with my grandfather, who was an architect, to the construction site of the Doordarshan Bhawan in Delhi. I don’t watch much TV, but I used to watch it with my son when he lived in LA—Gossip Girl and Housewives of somewhere or the other. I even remember the transition from black and white TVs to colour—and now I’m the one on TV!”

Her grandfather remains a major influence. She recounts how her family came over to Delhi during Partition, and how even three generations down, has the drive to achieve and aspire for more. Passi grew up with a 5 pm curfew as a teenager and the second she turned 20, her family married her off to a suitable boy. “I wanted someone who wouldn’t drink, smoke, or gamble,” she says. And her industrialist husband, Sanjay Passi, fit the bill from day one. Despite a conservative family, her home and upbringing brimmed with progressive ideas and thoughts. Her grandfather’s friends were the capital’s leading artists, architects, and power brokers. That dichotomy is visible in Passi’s world even today, as she remains stringently contemporary in her art, fashion, and pursuits, yet remains committed to the role of the conventional good wife.

“I’m a little eccentric,” she confesses, later when we’ve settled in for a quiet chat in her bedroom away from the lights, cameras, and legions of liveried staff. “You see, I have a very obsessive personality. When I got married, around 2001, I spent a year and a half painting. I’d paint non-stop. I even started sleeping in my studio. So, these days, I try not to do just one thing. Because if I do one thing, there will be nothing else.”

In many ways, Passi embodies the life and times of the modern lady of leisure that offer varied Instagrammable moments and enough to distract. On her IG feed, you will see her hopping across the world from the Venice Biennale to Art Basel, or vacationing in Córdoba or Cannes. Offline, she’s busy managing her home that runs with a staff of about 50, but not in the I-only-lunch-with-my-girlfriends-who-don’t-work kind of way. She is a hustler. There’s MASH India, her digital platform that supports the arts; and her social schedule and the media that goes along with it. “Half the time, once I’m done with dressing up and clicking my photos for my social media, I don’t even make it to the event or party. That’s how busy I am,” she says, with a poker face. The thing is, you can never really tell if she’s being dead serious or just playing you.

You’ll never guess her age, and we’re not telling you either, but she insists on drinking her food through the day, in a combination of juices and soups, with one solid meal at the end of the day. For a life so opulent, Passi doesn’t have the time to sit down for elaborate daytime meals. “I hate wasting time. I cannot compete with anybody else; I can only compete with myself. So, I have to work towards improving myself and that’s why I cannot waste a second.” To this end, apart from signing up for online classes on subjects that range from art to architecture, she has physical and mental well-being chalked into her schedule. “I need my therapy, and I need my exercise because I want the body of a 20-year-old. It’s why I get so angry when I see people slouching—why do you not respect your body enough?” she scolds. “If you’re healthy, you can do anything. I broke my tailbone when I was in my 20s, and refused medication. I strengthened my back with exercise and turmeric. And I was wearing heels and dancing the next day. I still get spasms, but I believe in manifestation and psyching my brain to do things.”

Getting a spot on a reality TV show is mostly seen as a vehicle to get rich or famous quick or to promote or launch a business, but Passi needs none of the above. So why has she opened her life up to be streamed, dissected, and judged by millions? “I don’t really know why people would be interested in my life because I’m not really interested in anyone else’s life. I did want to do a travel and art show, to give a platform to artists and art, but no one was interested in that. So, when Karan Johar made this offer at Manish Malhotra’s Diwali party, I thought, why not. Maybe it will open up more opportunities.” Like any worthy celebrity, she uses her platform to champion causes she cares about: her earnings from the upcoming Netflix show will be donated to UNICEF to support Early Childhood Development for their programme in Purnea, Bihar.

With enough money, status, and connections to work her way around, Passi is very clear that she lives her life on her own terms and couldn’t be bothered with the opinions of others.

She’s rather untroubled by the rush of fame or infamy that will come once the show releases. The show is sure to test her on this, but “I’m a monotone person,” she says. Confused, I ask her what that means. She explains, “I don’t get affected easily. I don’t really feel bad about what people say about me. I’m not above it, I am just disciplined.” She concludes, almost in a chant, “I’m a great collector. I’m a great mother. I’m a great housewife. I’ve built my family and home. I’m a good friend, and I’m even good to people I don’t know. I have, after all, always been the star of my own life!”

Fabulous Lives Vs Bollywood Wives will stream on Netflix on October 18

Hairstylist: Sonu Yadav. Make-up Artist: Mahi Sardana