The midlife crisis has always been a pop culture goldmine. The middle-aged man who suddenly feels the need to ride a Harley or a 25-year-old (or both) to feel young again shows up plenty. But the new Netflix show The Four Seasons’ take on this midlife man, through 52-year-old hedge-fund manager Nick (Steve Carrell) is a novel one, because while his crisis fits the bill, it ends in divorce and its ripple effects.
The eight-episode series by Tina Fey, Lang Fisher and Tracey Wigfield, currently streaming on Netflix, is an adaptation of the 1981 film of the same name by Alan Alda. It follows, through four seasons, a group of six 50-something friends—and how their relationships are tested. At the centre is Nick and Anne (Kerri Kenney-Silver), whose marriage ends because Nick feels stuck with Anne who he believes ‘never wants to do anything, anymore’. Watching the two, it becomes clear they might be the same age, but they are definitely not in the same phase of life. She is set in her ways, while he seems raring to make the most of the life he has left. Nick waits for after their 25th anniversary—after their daughter, Lila, goes off to college—because it’s the “right time”.
The midlife divorce, or the grey divorce as it’s now known, has seen a doubling over the past few years. Globally, while the 25-39 age bracket leads the charge, the divorce rate among those aged 50 and older has doubled since 1990. In the US alone, 36 per cent of adults going through a divorce were 50 or older in 2019, indicating a significant increase in later-life separations, as reported by the American Psychological Association. While there isn’t much data from India, there has been a reported increase in the number of 50-somethings now approaching courts.
Mumbai-based therapist Amanpreet Nagpal confirms that it is on the rise. “The fifties are when couples experience empty-nest syndrome, and their children leaving home can reveal underlying marital issues in areas of physical and emotional intimacy. There could also be added financial stress with regards to retirement and healthcare,” she explains. The usual stressors aside, it’s also a phase of re-evaluation. “Many couples get the opportunity to focus on their emotions over survival, and their emotional regulation skills are challenged.” As the stigma around divorces wears off in India, this has led to Gen X splitting up more now than previous generations did.
So, what is going on with these Gen Xers? Are they looking for new adventure, now that their kids are out of the house? Are they hoping to fall in love again? Is divorce their new form of selfcare? Is it the financial stability of midlife that is anchoring their singledom? Or is it simply the next step when our tastes and desires change as we age? Delhi-based Gaurav*, 58, saw a lot of his first marriage in Nick and Ann. “We were college sweethearts—there was so much history, so much shared experience. It kept us together longer than it should have.” The difference, he highlights, is that he was the ‘Anne’. “I got comfortable to the point that I stopped trying. I let myself go and began to take her for granted. She would keep working on herself, on our marriage, and we’d been together so long, I didn’t really notice. I also never wanted to talk about it when she brought it up; I’m not a big fan of confrontation. I regret that now.”
Nagpal points out that avoiding confrontation in relationships is often the fastest way to tank it. “The quality with which one deals with the conflict is a marker of the quality of the relationship.” Gaurav and his ex-wife are both remarried now but have remained friends. “I think we’re both taking the things we learned into our marriages now, and I’m grateful we worked past the bitterness to get here.”
Marriages ending midlife is most common among empty-nesters. Amrita*, 53, asked for a divorce from her husband last year after 27 years of marriage, partly because her daughter moved to the UK. “He had been cheating on me for years,” she says. “I was so ashamed for so long, I didn’t even tell anyone.” She only opened up about it a few years ago, to her two closest friends—and both encouraged her to get out. Amrita, however, was nervous about the impact it would have on her relationship with her daughter. “She’s always been closer to her dad, and I thought if I left it would create a divide between us.” To her surprise, it did the opposite. “I realise she would have supported me anyway. But I needed the time and space to do it when I was ready.”
Amrita’s story points to one of the biggest reasons most women ask for a divorce. “Women usually want a divorce when they find out about their partner’s infidelity or if they suffer a loss of financial stability,” explains Nagpal. Research from US Census, the CDC and Pew Research for Forbes, 2025, found that 60 per cent of couples getting divorced cited a partner’s infidelity as a reason their union ending, with a Worldmetrics study finding that, notably, women were more likely to file for divorce following an instance of infidelity. The reasons aren’t the same for men. “Men want a divorce when they feel like they’ve grown apart, for either emotional or financial reasons,” she adds.
Midlife splits are also seen as “conscious uncoupling” by those who feel they have outgrown their partner and still have enough healthy years to find someone who may be a better companion. This can lead to early-stage cheating, feels Nagpal: “People try to look for freedom and love outside themselves, and their relationships. The forms of that infidelity can be physical, emotional, financial, or even digital.”
In her book The State of Affairs, renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel points out, “Affairs are a form of self-discovery, a quest for a new (or a lost) identity. For these seekers, infidelity is less likely to be a symptom of a problem and is more often described as an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation.” A classic imperfect Band-Aid for a midlife questioning of the loss of a younger identity.
Diminishing sex life, years of resentment, and just plain old soul-searching are convincing more and more people to reclaim the second part of their life. Also, by midlife, some of us may achieve some sort of stability—a plush job or a robust bank account, but whether you do or not, you’re likely to evaluate your career and life choices by age 50.
Simran*, 54, still feels bitterly about how things ended with her husband. “I gave up a promising career in law to raise our kids. Our marriage ended because we fell out of love; it had been happening for a long time. But I was lost for many years after our divorce.” A natural after-effect, as a 2022 study by the National Bureau of Economic Research points out. The study examined 5,00,000 people from around the world and discovered a series of mental health ‘hill curves’ from work stress (said to peak at age 45) and unfulfilled life paths. Simran herself found it took her a long time to rebuild a sense of identity outside her marriage and motherhood—and that it's still a work in progress. “No one tells you that, after decades with someone, breaking up with them is like losing your sense of self. You forget who you are without each other.”
The Four Seasons is an interesting reminder of the toll midlife can take on a marriage, and how recouping from a relationship that shaped you can feel impossible. But it is also, in some senses, a roadmap of the things that can cause the demise of a relationship—both through Nick and Anne’s relationship, as well the other couples’, which are then put under a microscope with their fault lines exposed.
The midlife divorce, more than anything, is a marker of discontent and stalemate of the life you find yourself in when you’re past the halfway mark. It might seem like a death knell, but it can, in fact, but the opposite. It can be, as it was for the other two couples on the show who found themselves questioning the happiness of their own marriages, a reminder that a great relationship will always take work. It can, in fact, be a wake-up call.
*Some names have been changed to protect the individuals’ identity
