“I call myself a dating veteran. I’ve used the apps for 10-odd years, but I can’t think of a single first-date outfit that stood out,” Prerna Goyal, a Bengaluru-based brand consultant, confesses. Instead, the 28-year-old has a laundry list of the men who failed ’fit checks. There’s the guy who wore open-toed, Velcro slippers, the one who chose a tattered hoodie for a fancy dinner date, and the string of men who arrived with unavoidable BO. Some would call them icks that are hard to return from.
Goyal herself takes her time to craft a date-to-impress look: a cute dress accessorised well and paired with kitten heels for just a little height. For her, first-date outfits are more about subtext than vanity. “Your look reveals whether you just threw something on and left in a hurry or actually made an effort. For me, this says a lot about how much thought and care you’re bringing to the date itself,” she shares.
While fashion isn’t the be all and end all for Parnika Aggarwal, 22, she agrees that it signifies intention. Reminiscing about an earnest date who wore a thick, full-sleeved sweatshirt in Mumbai’s hot, sticky weather, the visual artist says, “I could see he was sweating and so uncomfortable, but he made an effort to dress up and I really appreciated that.” Whether you’re a fashion apologist or a connoisseur, you have to agree there’s some truth to the age-old “first impressions are lasting impressions” adage.
Why else have we rambled on about first-date outfits for decades, sending photos on the group chat, vying for a morsel of validation before stepping out into the cold, harsh world of ghosting and breadcrumbing? (Sorry not sorry for the dramatisation.) Even 25 years ago, Carrie Bradshaw discussed the pros and cons of wearing The Naked Dress on her first date with Mr Big, and we all know how that ended.
Fast forward to 2025 when it seems like little has changed. In Meghann Fahy’s thriller Drop, her character stands in front of the wardrobe deliberating on the look that will bring her back into the dating fold, finally settling on a bold red velvet jumpsuit. Nobody Wants This, 2024’s standout romcom, hinged its meet-cute on fashion. Kristen Bell’s Joanne is inimitable in a faux fur jacket layered over a black mesh bodysuit. Would the Hot Rabbi have chased her down a hill if she was wearing an old hoodie and chappals? We think not.
Don’t forget that first-date outfits are especially critical in our current romantic doomscape. Three out of four women are overwhelmed by dating, while even legacy apps are facing revenue cuts like never before. Hate to be naysayers, but it is hard out there.
Imagine finally landing a date and then messing it up because you forgot to spritz perfume or, worse yet, wore skinny jeans—a universal ick-maker. Ugh.
“I once went on a date with a man who wore ripped skinny jeans, and let’s just say his personality absolutely matched his outfit iykwim. I really hope he has some girlfriends who can help him out,” Mumbai-based Nicole D’Souza, 24, says. Just like Goyal, she also swears by kitten heels as the golden mantra to success and adds that even a little bit of effort makes all the difference. The one man who impressed her wore a dinner jacket over a pressed shirt—sometimes it is just the bare minimum.
But turns out, even that effort has to be measured and rooted in individuality; try-hards are just as much of a turn-off as tapering denims. Ask Varun Padikkal, who swears the performative male contest was invented for his Hinge dates. “I find men and women with painted nails, Jibbitzed Crocs, and wired earphones very hot. But then they take it a notch too far with a tote bag or those Labubu dolls—that’s a no for me,” the 23-year-old from Bengaluru says.
Adding to the slew of chronically online issues, Mumbai-based Nomie also gets the ick from women who embrace micro trends too hard. “I want people to envy us when they see us together,” says the 22-year-old, adding that fast fashion from Amazon or thigh-high socks will have her running for the hills.
At a time when 83 per cent of Indian Gen Z identify as creators, they aren’t just looking to date someone who is kind and considerate but also want someone who matches their aesthetic. When they see you for the first time sipping on that kombucha, they’re likely vetting you as a future content co-creator, filming about girlfriend air and doing Sabrina Carpenter’s ‘Manchild’ line dance together. For dummies not in the know: ‘girlfriend air’ is a TikTok term referring to how men’s style changes after they acquire a girlfriend. Clearly, the first-date outfit is paramount if you want to pass this vibe check.
In fact, Nomie uses her own fashion as a little taste test. “On first dates, I wear punk rock alt fashion—so, black on black, fishnets, and lots of silver accessories. I do this to sus out the vibes. If they can’t handle the alt, then what’s the point?” Think of it as a compatibility quiz, but make it fashion.
Perhaps the moral of the story then is that vanity isn’t a yesteryear problem. The next time someone says “just be who you are” or “it’s what’s on the inside that matters”, remember that well, yes, maybe, possibly, but also dress cute and make an effort.
