What comes to your mind when I say desi Bridgerton? If it’s Simone Ashley in that (hideous) attempt at a draped sari in season four, you’re way off. In fact, your algo is in desperate need of a refresh because dear gentle scroller, you’re missing out. The real desi Bridgerton is actually aunty besties dressed in jewel-toned floral saris with sequinned belts, delicate lace gloves and colourful clip-on fascinators that would put Sonam Kapoor’s Aisha to shame. Since the latest season of the period drama debuted in February, kitty parties across India seemed to have received the memo loud and clear.
Posh tea brunches worthy of sticking your pinky out are taking over Instagram. Realistically, it’s only a matter of time before the aunties incorporate Hyacinth Bridgerton’s viral hop-on dance move into their party games. And you know you’re waiting to steal it for your next fake sangeet or bhajan clubbing night. There’s endless chat about Gen Z going the extra mile with themes, what with at-home cafes, Powerpoint nights, and ‘pitch your homeboy’ events buzzing.
But really, kitty parties walked so youngling theme parties could run. Actually, to be honest, kitties are miles ahead; we could never create the gem that is Matka, Latka, Atka, Jhatka. Sure, 20-something-year-olds can make videos to ‘Dame Un Grrr’ but does it come with a safari-themed party, coordinated leopard-print fits, and purring roars? The sheer commitment to the plot at a kitty party is incomparable.
“I get so invested in the exceptionally elaborate skits and over-the-top storytelling,” says Bengaluru-based marketing manager Anusha Hissaria, who, like many of us, is hooked to cringe-scrolling this new mini genre. If your algo hasn’t dipped into it, may we guide you to the wildly popular “husband’s shirt” theme where each girlie dresses in her partner’s clothes, saunters to the camera and blows kisses to a photo of their hubby. The more innovative the love language, the more hoots it gains from the other women. As one of the 760 comments reads, “this is peak girlhood”. And kitty parties have held this magnetising effect for decades.
Unique to India and our diaspora, a kitty is usually a monthly gathering where women come together to find a taste of community far removed from their domestic responsibilities. Since its inception, the kitty has also served as a micro-financing method where every member pools in some money so that each month, a different woman wins the sum. However big or small the pot may be, it brings a flavour of independence to the participating women, who largely relied on husbands or families for discretionary spends. And while these gatherings can be traced back to the independence era, in recent years they have broken on to social media as prime-time content opportunities.
Videos of the kitty members dressed to the nines often gain millions of views because we can’t get enough of them. No matter how different your algo may be from someone else, these posts have likely snuck on to your feed. Perhaps you don’t heart them and declare your allegiance publicly, but you sure as hell watch them through the end. “This content has become so mainstream that you feel left out of the conversation if you don’t know what the new trends are,” adds Hissaria, speaking of millennial and Gen Z feeds today.
For instance, the balloon game is currently all the rage at baby showers. Here, women place balloons on their stomach and pop them with silly dialogues like “I’m not pregnant, I’m the cutie bestie” or “I’m not pregnant, I’m the fun one”, until, finally, the star of the evening is revealed with applause. Even though most of these videos follow identical formats, watching them tickles a part of our brain that keeps us coming back for more.
Stylist Divyak D’Souza confesses that he revels in watching kitty party content. “It’s freeing to watch someone be so openly themselves, especially in the current environment, where people are always peddling a false illusion of perfection on Instagram,” he adds. “I use my phone all the time and don’t want to be triggered about not being fit or chic enough. I just want videos that fill me with dopamine.”
This resistance to glossy aestheticism online is surely relatable. We live in a time when young people feel immense pressure to perfect social media. Cracking the ever-changing balance between online but not too online, smart but not performative, and curated but not contrived is nothing short of a Sisyphean task. It’s exhausting to survey every like, comment, repost and post to fit this restrictive and, frankly, judgmental standard. In response, watching older women wear whimsy on their sleeve and find community in caricatures is not just endearing, it’s also liberating. We may categorise this content under the cringe banner, but the memes are right: to be cringe is to be free.
The aunties are not calculating engagement and reach before posting—they’re just getting together for the sake of companionship and documenting their time together, much like Facebook albums once upon a time. “I don’t think people are used to seeing older Indian aunties have fun like this with other women, so the silliness feels amusing,” says Mumbai-based publicist Saeesha Pandit. “Even the games that they play are so not competitive. It's more for fun.”
Which begs the question, when was the last time we did something just for kicks, no aura points or clout in mind? The stark contrast makes you pause in wonder. Add to this the visual distinction of the protagonists, powerfully bereft of the influencer accent and Instagram face, and their quirky, honest individualism stands out from the flurry of same-same videos that we consume.
The timing is also crucial, waking up to news of war and disruption is becoming a mind-numbing reality. Amidst the chaos, we need social media to disarm and humour us. “When everything is so serious, it’s nice to see kitty party aunties dress up in their Bridgerton outfits and live their best life,” explains The Nod’s stylist Naheed Driver, who proudly likes and shares this genre of cringe content with her friends as a reminder to bring back harmless fun.
Treat this as your personal sign to do the same. Have your own kitty party, be cringe, be silly; the more whimsical the better. And kindly stop holding back the likes on kitty party posts. Share the love—the aunties deserve to know how much they make us cackle.
