Zarna Garg knows she plays up the ‘Indian mom’ shtick. And that’s the point

The first time I laughed during my interview with Zarna Garg, it was at a classic mother-in-law joke. She didn’t miss a beat. “Aha,” she piped up, pointing at me like she was tagging a future punchline. “You’re laughing. You know it’s true.”

That’s the thing with Garg. She’s watching as much as she’s talking. A walking, talking observational notebook in a signature belt, she doesn’t just deliver jokes. She scans the room, notes your reactions, clocks your discomfort, and mentally assigns it to that saved folder of ‘jokes that worked’. “You’re not just here to listen,” she says. “You’re participating, whether you know it or not.”

The family-friendly comedian owned the internet for trash-talking mothers-in-laws, roasting marriages, and bringing to stage the smug satisfaction of being an Indian mom. If you’re late to the Zarna Garg universe, here’s the recap: The Mumbai-raised, NYC-based Garg started stand-up in her forties after being a stay-at-home mom. Not exactly a midlife plot twist most desi moms are encouraged to try. “I was silenced for so long... Now my voice is how I make my living,” she says of her The Marvelous Mrs Maisel-esque life. In six years, she’s headlined Carolines on Broadway, opened for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on their Restless Leg tour, and won Kevin Hart’s Lyft Comics.

This year is no different. In April, she released her memoir, This American Woman, which became a New York Times bestseller. In July came her comedy special, Practical People Win, available on JioHotstar. (And in the works is a sitcom with Hart and Mindy Kaling, which she can only tease for now.)

But Practical People Win, her 60-minute stand-up show, is not just a personal flex. It’s a full family production. In the Hulu special, her kids pop in for a closing dance number. Off-screen, they’re even more involved—managing podcast edits, pulling analytics, crunching the engagement stats. Her husband is the money guy. “We are not just doing jokes. We are building a comedy empire,” she tells me. “We’re beating the stereotype by leaning into it.”

Motherhood is her brand, her battlefield, her material. Sometimes extreme, sometimes cringey, her honesty and drily intonation has made her humour not just relatable to her audiences but also quite lucrative for her. “My comedy comes from a place of knowing that pain,” she says. In Practical People Win, Garg recounts how, while she was in Texas opening for Fey and Poehler, her 17-year-old son got punched in the face during a football game in New York and broke his nose. He didn’t tell her until much later, calmly getting himself to the ER “like a seasoned adult and even walking away with a free George Clooney nose upgrade” from the doctor. “I was riddled with guilt,” she says in the special. “Why did I take this job? I should have stayed in New York. I could have prevented it.” But true to Garg’s style, the guilt quickly morphs into comedy complete with her mother-in-law’s classic passive-aggressive questioning and her own jab at Americanised desi kids.

Of course, she knows she plays up the “Indian mom” bit. And that’s the point. “It’s not a performance,” she says. “It’s my real life. But I know what I’m doing.” And as for accusations that she’s pandering to an outdated NRI lens? She shrugs. “There’s no one Indian who represents all Indians,” she points out. “But I know who I’m speaking to.” And it’s not just the hyper-online, Europe-vacationing elite. “So, if you’re skiing in Europe and sending your kids abroad, maybe you’re not speaking for the majority.”

Garg also knows the diaspora too well to sugarcoat it. “We’re lying half the time. Our kids are dating whoever they want. But do we admit that at family functions? Never. We just do namaste and hope no one asks.”

There’s no one Indian who represents all Indians. But I know who I’m speaking to... So, if you’re skiing in Europe and sending your kids abroad, maybe you’re not speaking for the majority.”

Still, she’s not picking sides. She’s just pointing out the contradictions. And sharply cashing in on them. Whether you see yourself in her jokes or squirm at the mirror she holds up, Garg’s not here to ease your discomfort. She’s here to turn it into comedy gold.

And while you’re busy laughing, she’s already written your reaction into her next set.

Riotous, unruly, and unstoppable, Garg shares her views on parenting, monogamy, and her ultimate marriage manifesto below.

Who would you pick—broke boy with a dream or CEO with a yacht?

Broke boy with a dream always, of course. I mean, my life is that. And I’ve regretted it also. Sometimes when we were so broke, I was like, I should have listened to my dad. What was I thinking? I would have just had to make one mother-in-law happy.

What are the three cardinal rules of marriage every woman should tattoo on her soul?

Do not ask your spouse what they’re thinking. 

Do not ask them how they’re feeling. 

Go to bed angry and shop on your iPad.

What comes to mind when you see someone in their thirties living with their parents and calling it a lifestyle choice?

Oh yeah, I see freeloader. Freeloader! Go get your own life. Get your own Netflix subscription. Get your mom a Netflix subscription. And don’t you dare, don’t you dare have an opinion about your parents’ life. That’s the first thing—because I will find you and I will beat you up myself.

Is it valid to break up with someone if their family was a nightmare?

I’m gonna give you the unpopular answer. I think it’s valid to take the person and break up with their family. That’s not an Indian mom answer, but that’s what I would do.

Is it protective parenting or full-blown surveillance if you’re using a fake account to monitor your teen’s content?

Oh, it’s really responsible parenting. Are you kidding? I have every tool the FBI has. You think when they need to find somebody, they don’t call Zarna? That’s true—they call any mother. They will tell you how to find them.

How do you feel about parents who want to be best friends with their kids?

Horrible. Honestly, death penalty for them all because they’re making my life a living nightmare.

What’s the wildest feedback you’ve gotten from an audience member or heckler?

Someone once called me hot. And I was like, are you blind? Because I know where I am. There’s a lot of things that I am, but ‘hot’ is not one of them.

If you were banned from doing comedy, what would you do instead?

My previous careers are previous careers for a reason—that’s not happening anyway. But in my mind’s dream, I’ve been a dental hygienist. I’ve brushed three kids’ teeth myself for so many years; I’ve thought, if all else fails, I know I can do that better than anybody else.

What’s your take on people who say monogamy isn’t natural?

They’re right. And I’m telling you, as I get famous, I too will have to consider options. My husband knows. We’ve been married 26 years. He knows everything—even who I’d go for next. Everybody knows my next move is a billionaire with a heart disease. Certified billionaire. Less than five years to live. Hands working enough to sign paperwork. He’s my guy.

At what age would you allow your child to bring their partner home?

Never. I will bring their partner home and introduce them to my child.

How do you feel about couples who move in with their in-laws after marriage?

Oh my God. Like death. I feel like death is better.

How do you feel about couples who split bills 50-50?

Oh come on. That guy’s gotta go. I’m sorry. I’m so old-school.

Who was the first person to tell you that you were funny, and did you believe them?

I still don’t believe it.

Watch her play ‘Bare Minimum or Princess Treatment’ with The Nod.